Saturday, September 22, 2012

Content

Sooooooo, it's been a while. Sorry! (Not that those who read this are generally missing much.) Sickness has plagued my house, but we're finally through the colds, ear infections, then repeat of the colds. Oh my, is being sick tiring! I haven't been this sick since, well, I don't know. I guess when I was pregnant and had kidney stones. I'd like to not repeat that. It was akin to the pain of labor, but without the joy (or the constant uncomfortable feeling that a BM was nearly imminent, which to me tipped labor into being a little more unpleasant).

Anyway, draft two of Waking Dreams is coming along. Slowly, but coming along. My writing group is kicking back into gear for the school year, so hopefully the final draft of Waking Dreams will be polished by Summer of 2013. *fingers crossed* Although, this is a hobby, so my general rule of thumb for the things I enjoy is pretty simple: Don't set strict timelines for the things you enjoy - they quickly become an obligation and lose their sparkle. And if you know me, you know I like me some sparkle! It's funny - I like shiny things, I just don't like wearing shiny things. I'm the magpie that collects shinies to look at.

Life is going really well. Grampa Phil's health is improving after a post-op scare in the hospital, Hubby is enjoying his new job, I'm enjoying my work, and I'm enjoying my favoritest job of all: being a mommy. It's amazing how being a mom has completely changed my priorities. I don't mean to sound cheesy (although I realize that's impossible to avoid), but it's absolutely true. I don't stress about work (as much), I don't worry so much that people may not like me, or fret that I suck at the greater part of social niceties. Because, frankly, who gives a s&*t? My little girl is happy, healthy, and growing into a sweet, beautiful, laughing little girl. I love visiting her on my lunch breaks because it just lifts my mood the rest of the day. If I succeed in that one job, then life is golden. That being said, I've been given a temporary little promotion at work that is also amazing. I had forgotten how much nicer it is to do slightly more complicated and varying tasks.  It makes work much more enjoyable, so I'm going to savor every single moment of this temporary position!

I'd like to say that I didn't spend a lot of time worrying about sucking, but, well, I'd be lying. When you feel like you're the odd duck all the time, it's much easier to feel like you're on the outside looking in. I used to feel like if a group of my friends arranged a gathering without me, that that reflected poorly on me - that there was something wrong with me that they didn't want to hang out with me too. Now, I realize, it's okay not to be invited to everything. There are different vibes to every gathering, and small gatherings allow for a greater intimacy. If we invited all our friends to every gathering, well, we'd never get to actually find out what's going on with folks!

Of course, as a mom, I'm still finding that balance of me-family-friends, oh my! I think my sanity is finally coming back, and a lot of that is, as I posted previously, just letting go.

As it stands? I couldn't be happier with life. I am an incredibly lucky lady.