Firsts

The week and day for giving thanks has formally passed, and boy did it breeze by.  I can't believe December is closing in on us so quickly. My writing, or rather, my editing is still slogging along at a snail's pace. But hey, I'm almost done with Chapter 5! So there's some merit in slogging through the mire of repetitive adjectives that is WD. By this time next year, I will hopefully done with all drafts of WD and sitting back and enjoying the fruits of my labor. Whether that's sipping a cup of hot cocoa and thinking "Thank God I'm done with that bullshit" or swimming in dough, it'll all be good. My preference is for the latter of the two options, but we shall see. Once I finish this second draft, the beta readers will be subjected to, er, have the pleasure of reading my "finished" product... Then comes the fun. :P

That being said, the last few weeks have been amazing. Thanks to antibiotics and the wonders of nettipot, my sinuses are finally clearing, which has helped me truly enjoy life and my family again. Just in time to be bedazzled by so many of my little girl's firsts! On Thanksgiving day, she walked unassisted for the very first time. Prior to Thanksgiving, she had taken a step or two to me or to Daddy, but never had she just stood up all on her own and WALKED! And boy did she walk. Once she decided to go, it was all speed! She has the bumps on her head to prove it. :P A full month for my baby's very FIRST birthday... I can't believe it's so close...

Thanksgiving was an amazing and blissfully relaxing day. For the first year since my husband and I have been together (going on 17 years), I finally slowed down and committed to just ONE Thanksgiving, and it was amazing. It was easily the least stressful Thanksgiving we have ever had. I like to be everywhere at once - at my mom's, at Nick's mom's, his dad's, with our amazing adoptive family who welcomed us to their table when we didn't have anywhere to go... I've been the "I don't know how to say no" person for so long, that it was nice to sit back and just enjoy the holiday and my family. All I had to do was bake a cheesecake, throw some mashed potatoes together and show up to the warmth and wonder of the K-H joint Thanksgiving festivities. Because we just did the one, the day for giving Thanks morphed into a long holiday weekend of thankfulness and good memories.

So, in keeping with a tradition that I am fighting to keep alive, here is a list of the things I have been thankful for the past year:

1. My daughter - she has brought more joy into my life than I ever imagined was possible. As she takes her first steps, babbles her first words, signs her first signs, and experiences this amazing world, I get to experience each first and the joy it brings her. I feel so lucky and so damned in love, I'm ready to burst every time she beams her toothy grin at me. Hell, I never knew I could love someone or something so much!
2. My husband - we may still be figuring out this whole parenting thing (you'd think now that our daughter is almost a year old we'd have it figured out, but it turns out a toddler is completely different than a baby... who knew? I feel like I had finally gotten the baby thing down...), but he's been with me every step of the way. No matter how late he stays up, he's there in the morning to help me get the little girl ready for the day, and is just an amazing and wonderful man! Did I mention that he let me slip away for an entire night to go to a lady's weekend getaway at a fancy spa hotel??? He is a saint. A silly, crass, speedy-diaper-changing genius, gorgeous saint
3. My brother - I am lucky to know, let alone be related to, this man. He has so much love in his heart. He's always willing to watch my daughter so Daddy and Mommy Rambler can go for a walk or run errands, or just take a quick nap. When he finally decides to move out, I really don't know what we'll do. One thing I know for sure, I don't tell that guy how much I appreciate him nearly enough!!! Complain about the dishes in the sink? Check. Say: "Hey, thanks for holding the baby while I did x, y, and z." Um, while I may say the words, I think their being followed by complaints about the dishes might not have the overall desired effect. And hell, in spite of his bouts with insomnia, he always makes my little girl giggle!  Plus, she squeals with laughter whenever he enters the room, so clearly I need to shower the love on Uncle! He is a great, loving, and wonderful man... I just need to make him believe it.
4. My sisters, near and far. While I may not live with them, I am thankful every day for my sisters. TMiYC for her constant encouragement and helping keep my dreams alive, sharing her journey as a writer and a mother, well... Those gifts are priceless. She will always be the Dark Moon to my Silver Star. My lil' sis, I'm thankful for her sweet, unassuming nature - no matter how different we all are, she is always just as loving and accepting of others - I see so much of my mother's warmth in her (and some of her kookiness, too!). I am thankful for her son, the sweet lil' man who plays so nicely with my little girl.
5.  My friends. They continue to blow me away. Even though much of my communications with my friends recently has been electronically (via Facebook or IMing), their continued warmth, humor and positivity is a constant inspiration. I will always be thankful to the K-H crew (all generations) for opening up their homes and hearts to my family. They have been and always will be a light to me and my family.
6. Work. I am thankful every day for the job I have and the people I work with. They are a lively group, and while we may not always get along (can't have work without some drama!), I am soooooo eternally grateful to be employed in this dismal economy and to work with people who realize that the work day is supposed to end at 5pm. I am thankful that my bosses kick me out if I stop watching the clock. Hell, I'm thankful that I work in a place where I enjoy my job enough that I don't spend my day waiting for 5pm, so much so that I'm surprised when it arrives!
7. My brain. Now that I'm weaning off nursing, in anticipation of lil' girl's first birthday, I finally feel like I am myself again. Welcome back, Brain. You have been sorely missed...
8. The book my sister gave me necessitates this... I am thankful for me and for my body. I am thankful for all the things I do right every day, regardless of all the things I do wrong. Tomorrow will always be a new day, a day for fun and being nice to myself.

And, of course, I'm thankful for you readers who put up with my meandering rambles. I hope you enjoyed your turkey day and are ramping up for the holidays... :)

-The Rambler

Happiness and Gratitude

I have been sick, yet again, for days. While thinking of ways to strengthen my immune system, I have had extra time with my little one, as we've sneezed and coughed into (in her case, at least) each others faces. I am annoyed that I am sick again, but I am also exceedingly grateful.

Getting ready for this week, this favorite week of mine (yay, turkey!), I couldn't help but take a moment to compose a little poem to reflect the happiness in my heart.

Her Light
Time grows still
When I see your smiling face
The light in your eyes
And those dimpled cheeks

My love, my sweet, my darling
My daughter.

When I hold you, Little One,
Your hand against my cheek
Your laughter
Music inside my soul

I know you

My love, my angel, my light,
My daughter.

 ****

It's hard, feeling her wonderful weight in my arms, knowing that in just a few short years (well, ten, hopefully), she will hate to be smothered in her mother's kisses, spun in circles in her mother's arms, or simply rocked to sleep and held while she touches my cheek and I watch her eyes droop into sleepiness.

But, I am so thankful and know I will love this wonderful little girl as she grows into whomever she chooses to be. She will always be my little girl.

Happy Turkey Week! May we each find something to give thanks for...

-The Rambler

Update

While I am blogging a little bit more than I did in this blog's beginning (one entry in two years), once a month is a little less than I had anticipated!

So...... Interesting news? None really to report. Drudgery? Sure thing! Draft two has been making remarkably slow progress. I'm in the process of editing Chapter Three, and it just doesn't sit right with me. I'm going to start bringing my laptop to work again soon, so I can write on my lunch break, which should speed up my editing. It's exhausting work to get home and think about doing anything aside from chilling with my family and getting ready for the next day.

I'm slowly prioritizing my life to make sure I make the time for the things that I care about. I definitely need to give my family (mostly my poor neglected spouse) a little more TLC. Then I need to focus on Waking Dreams, because I am dedicated to finishing this novel and polishing it to where it needs to be. Then, I need to make sure to fit time in with my friends, since I've somehow become something of a hermit!

Once I finish Waking Dreams, I can finally work on a couple of other writing projects that I am excited to start! Including, a project that I will only call TBC Retold.

Hopefully I will have more to report in my next entry!